Confession: I was a Bad Mom

Good morning – Monday. I have my cup of coffee and am armed and loaded. I do some of my best thinking while drinking my morning coffee. I have a latte on my caffeinated mind, lately.

This past year it seems that something negative is happening to our country on a daily basis. It’s all been so fast, too – and when you really start to think about it, we’re heading into almost 2 years of this Covid19 crap. It’s more than Covid now but it still remains to be the number one EXCUSE for what is really going on. Yet there are still many who ignore and refuse to see the Jack-Ass in the corner of the Oval Office. That’s when you know, those people have been brainwashed and can’t think for themselves anymore, or they’re afraid of peer pressure from their bully friends, or they’re complacent and content knowing that the mean Orange man Bad is no more. But we know the bumbling Jack_ass is Biden and there he is, for all the world to see and he’s an embarrassment. – they just refuse to see it.

What I see is:

We have an incompetent President and administration that continues to push me toward the Right even more than ever before. Granted my husband and my sons are very conservative politically. I’ve always been fairly moderate to socially liberal but always has been fiscally conservative. There really isn’t a party that suits me so I remain an Independent while the rest of my family are Republicans. I like that I am me – that I own my own opinions in a family full of conservative Republicans. I doubt if I will ever vote Democrat again. I used to think Unions were okay and now I believe they are crooked – My middle son is a union rep for his place of employment and has gone to the state conventions – he told me he was in the “belly of the beast.” I respect him though – he is there for the people he represents, and totally against more money for the union or fighting for people who live in another state. I’m surprised they have kept him on – but it’s been now 4 years and he made it through 2020 and so far this year.

I am not WOKE and neither do I want to be. I don’t think we can gauge and compare what happened 250+ years ago by today’s standards. That’s just crazy. It pits people against each other – I mean look what is happening now.

I also refuse to learn any of the pronouns.

The cancel culture can take a flying leap off a tall building (or a long walk off a short pier) for all I care – once again it is a bunch of whiny millennials and their parents who are too afraid to stand up to their spoiled kids. I keep thanking God as to how did I get so blessed by my 3 sons? They’ve never been perfect; made their own mistakes and what makes them who they are today, is their ability to learn from their past mistakes. They are age 40 and 37. The oldest son passed away in 2003 at the age of 25. He graduated from Cal State Long Beach in 2001. He was just starting to get his life going…I often wonder how he would be now.

We lived in Silicon Valley among the wealthy elitists. They went to school with kids who drove brand new BMWs to school – mine took public transportation or walked. I was a divorced single Mom at the time and they wore clothes I bought at KMart or from the thrift store. I did splurge on good quality Levi’s and I made them get jobs. I was a very bad mother. Their friends lived in big houses with swimming pools and I lived in a small 1100 square foot rented house with 1 bathroom and a 1 car garage – that I ended up living in for 22 years! I had a good landlord who charged me a below-market rate for rent. Another blessing from God. My boys never had it easy – but they didn’t have it that hard. Sure, the rule was if they wanted something I couldn’t afford, they would work for it. What is wrong with that?

I know of a few friends paying for their kid’s college who say their children are now “Woke”. One, in particular, is paying for the apartment for her oldest daughter who is attending Northwest University in Chicago. She is in a Ph.D. program there and while Mom and Dad paid for the first 4 years of college at UCLA are now paying for the next 6 years or so plus an apartment in a good area of Chicago. I am sure that doesn’t come cheap. Yet this daughter, argues with her Mom – about “privilege.” When it is brought up to her, she won’t acknowledge it. Ignores it. I keep suggesting to her Mom to cut her off but parents are too afraid of their children these days. It won’t happen and her 3 kids will continue to disrespect them.

My rewards today are that my sons acknowledge my hard work in raising them. NOW they see, what I had to go through. And they thank me all the time for their perfect childhood. Gosh, I wouldn’t say it was perfect – divorce happened but I guess I worked hard to make it all work. Plus I had a wonderful support system through my church and my friends. God was with me all the way. When I finally moved out of Silicon Valley they eventually followed me up here to a more rural part of California and they love it here. Not bad for being a bad Mom.

Okay, enough rambling – my coffee cup is empty which is my time to say goodbye for now. Off to the showers, to get dressed and start the new week.