The eye appointment went well – they measured and remeasured my eyes – I looked through a bunch of machines in different rooms and talked with the surgeon. I\’m a basic person. Don\’t give me too many choices or I get confused. Apparently, there are 3 different types and before they got to the 2nd one, I told them \”I just want the one that medicare approves\” thinking that would eliminate my choices. Well, there are 3 choices within that first choice. Due to astigmatism, I will still have to wear eyeglasses which for me, is no big deal. I wear them already. So, do I prefer to see far away or up close. I choose up close. I want to read again – I want to crochet again and sew again. Nevertheless, my eyesight will be very good regardless of having to wear eyeglasses. I remember once when my 3 boys were little and I got contact lenses. They were under 6 and one of them told me with big tears in his blue eyes,
\”You don\’t look like our mommy anymore.\”
I admit I\’m a sap so I wore them rarely and the contacts soon dried up in their case. I preferred my glasses anyway. My mom used to tell me, as a young girl,
\”Boys rarely make passes at girls who wear glasses.\”
Isn\’t that awful? I didn\’t need glasses until I was in my 30\’s but still, times have sure changed. My mom was all about outward appearances and first impressions. When I did start wearing glasses, I had 3 kids and had many years under my belt in therapy to get over some of her toxic beliefs while growing up on appearances and being \”lady-like\” etc. See, the deal was, I was a daddy\’s girl – I liked what my dad liked. He liked cars, so I liked cars. He liked the outdoors and hiking and so did I. He hated the Oscars, and so did I. I just thought my dad was the best! My sister was a girly girl like my mom and both of them were always trying to change me into THEM! I have way more memories of being with my dad, being myself than I do with my mom and my sister.
Like I said, I am a basic person. Simple and I like being that way. I\’m proud to be more like my dad than my mom anyway.
I was sent a recent photo of my niece\’s 2 children that I am not allowed to see anymore and I am tired of pursuing it. Here they are at their mommy\’s gravesite. They have grown so much since the last time I saw them. They look clean and well and I am pleased with that.
Still, their mom died too young (age 29) How do depressed, recovering addicts get help if everything is locked down? She was hopeless, alone, and died from an overdose in her daughter\’s bedroom. It will be a year this Nov 18.
Speaking of that same side of my family, my cataract surgery will conflict with the scattering of my sister\’s ashes on Sept 8. She died 6 years ago – I don\’t want to get involved in the drama anymore so I am glad I have a good excuse. Her husband will just have to handle it himself.