Trouble in Paradise

The last few days I have been feeling…different. Not my usual happy self. I feel sad. 

I also feel that my husband retired too soon – because money is getting tighter, food and gas prices are going through the roof. He doesn\’t get it – he keeps spending as if he is not retired. I do not like to have to take money out of our savings account at the end of the month. Plus I found out today he has been hoarding his CalVet pension check in a separate account. 

I pay all the bills and just trusted that he was depositing that check. When I went to the grocery and noticed how low we were, when usually we are not, it dawned on me that perhaps the check was never deposited in our account. Al last year I kept telling him to signup for direct deposit, which he has not. I asked him – he admitted it put it in a separate checking account that he has. That pisses me off. 

This what my 1st husband did. He opened up his own account and deposited his paycheck in there. I paid everything out of my account – the house, the car payments, food, etc. He would occasionally treat for pizza. BIG DEAL. After other things went on, I decided I was paying for everything anyway – I might as well kick him to the curb, which I did. (there is much MORE to the story) 

I get it that my husband wants his own money –  Fortunately for him, I am not a big spender. I\’m a saver which he is not. We have saved for a new car so we can pay cash. He is biting at the bit for other reasons to use that money. I haven\’t added any money to that account in a couple of months and that bums me out. I\’ve never called my husband a Jerk before…but he is acting like a jerk if you ask me. 

I would never open up an account and hoard money. Maybe I should… We\’ve never had arguments over money. When things got tight we worked together to get through it. I guess I will just not count his pension check in our monthly budget any longer and tighten up to where he will notice. 

I have the power to do that! 

11 thoughts on “Trouble in Paradise

  1. Anonymous April 19, 2021 / 8:16 pm

    As a know jerk perhaps I should not comment. Mrs. C and I each have multiple accounts for various reasons, but we are transparent on all of the accounts.I do pay most of our bills, but that is still way cheaper than having all my assets cut in half as has happened in two other relationships. There is a document which prevents that division again, though I doubt it will ever be needed.

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  2. Anonymous April 19, 2021 / 10:13 pm

    Transparency is the key. We've talked and he apologized.

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  3. Anonymous April 19, 2021 / 11:06 pm

    Oh dear. I pay all the bills too. It's a heavy responsibility. Prayers that y'all can work this out amicably and all will be well. Blessings. xx

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  4. Anonymous April 19, 2021 / 11:38 pm

    Hmm, that would make me very angry and wonder why he's needs a separate account? If its because he wants spending money why not just budget that in ever month with all the money and you both get so much per month to spend on whatever you want? That's how my husband I do it.. Im sorry about this 😦

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  5. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 2:17 am

    That is aggravating. I wish I had an easy answer or a good thought. But he needs to pay his share.

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  6. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 2:47 pm

    My husband is a spender and I am a saver. It's been this way all of our married lives and it had caused multiple, multiple problems between us! When I started working full time after the kids were grown I made my husband open his own account so he would leave our joint account alone and we split payment of the bills between accounts. I just this month believe it or not finally had him sign off of the joint account so he can't access it anymore! Took all these years because despite his financial stupidity he is a really good guy! So I definitely feel where you are coming from and can't blame you for being upset!

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  7. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 4:56 pm

    We worked it out – he feels guilty. LOL.

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  8. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 4:57 pm

    He always gets what he wants – it's not like he is deprived. So he doesn't need a sperate account but for some reason, he wants his own.

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  9. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 4:59 pm

    He needs to share – He will come around because he will feel guilty with all the cutting back I will do that will effect him.

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  10. Anonymous April 20, 2021 / 5:01 pm

    Yeah my husband is a good guy too but I don't know, something in his childhood where he never had his own stuff. He feels powerless I think now that our income has shrank due to retirement.

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  11. Anonymous April 21, 2021 / 3:49 am

    No answer here either

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