Sentimental Belongings

This morning\’s coroner report has Nina being released by her dad for cremation. He must be devasted – I know. I had to do this when Michael died unexpectedly. It\’s a shame, we can\’t come together as a family. 
Yesterday Nina\’s best friend messaged me – She told me there are items that she doesn\’t feel right about throwing away – some belonged to my Mom, like her wedding rings, military pins from my dad, and then things from my sister that were passed on to Nina. Last week I talked with Doug, my sister\’s husband about Nina – on the night she passed. We talked and he said he is ready to get rid of all my sister\’s stuff that he has at his home. It\’s been 5 years. He was saving it for Nina. He asked me what to do with Donna\’s wedding dress. I told him to donate it. I can\’t take everything, nor will I be able to keep everything. I do want to be able to go through it and then decide what I want to keep for the children. Photos and memorabilia that would be special to them as they get older. I honestly don\’t need any more stuff. I\’ve been trying to minimize my own stuff. 
I\’m not looking forward to this task. If you\’ve ever lost someone, and you have to go through their things, you know, it can be quite emotional. This time it would be like reliving my mom\’s death, my sister\’s death, and now Nina. I do know many of the items are already boxed so I don\’t believe I have to actually go through the house or anything. They are doing this now. I\’m thinking Nina\’s dad is probably trying to either get the house ready to sell or to rent out asap. He bought the newly built house for them, just last year. 
I don\’t know if or when there will be any type of service/memorial. Looks like regardless if there is a service, I will have to meet up with Nina\’s dad to get into the house.  I\’d prefer to do all of this and get it over with, before Christmas if I can. I don\’t like having this kind of emotional event hanging over me as unfinished business. I will have a lot to do as I sift through these things – keeping just a few things for myself and the children. I don\’t even feel right selling anything – my sons probably don\’t want anything so most of it will be donated. But it needs to be gone through by me. 
Sometimes I wonder, why me? Why am I the one who has always had to pick up the pieces? (literally) I must be a lot stronger than my stomach tells me I am. I just will have to do what I have to do, and then I can emotionally heal from all of their deaths – My mom, my sister, and Nina. 

From My House – For the homemaking side of me

8 thoughts on “Sentimental Belongings

  1. Anonymous November 25, 2020 / 8:21 pm

    I'm so sorry. \”Grieving sucks\” says it all. I do hope you can get it taken care of soon so you can have closure and move on. Much love. ❤️💕

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  2. Anonymous November 25, 2020 / 10:45 pm

    I am sorry for your loss and at such an awful time. Well anytime is awful to lose a loved one.

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  3. Anonymous November 26, 2020 / 1:46 am

    I hated having to go through my Mom's things when she passed away. God bless.

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  4. Anonymous November 26, 2020 / 4:36 am

    So sorry you are having to deal with all of this on top of your grief. Its a shame that Nina, and so many other young people, don't make a plan for the \”unexpected\” and think they are going to be immortal. Not having anything in place with who (if any available) would raise her children or provision like a life insurance policy makes it ever so much more difficult dealing with it all. I remember being young parents and having talk about who would raise our kids if we were both taken before they reached the age of maturity. Luckily we came up with someone who agreed to raise them and we had life insurance. When talking with son/DIL about similar plans they were at odds with who would raise grandson (step granddaughter would go to her biological father who is very active in her life). Thankfully son has life insurance but DIL \”scoffs\” at it. Its a sobering reality that not all parents will be alive to raise their children to 18 years old. Again, so sorry about all that is on your plate. betty

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  5. Anonymous November 26, 2020 / 9:53 pm

    I think many of us thhink why me. I know I have and stilll do and it sucks.Stuff is stuff till it becomes sentimental stuff

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  6. Anonymous November 26, 2020 / 11:55 pm

    After my dad died, I helped my mom clean out his closet. It was hell.Love,Janie

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  7. Anonymous December 3, 2020 / 7:11 pm

    Yeah the young parents these days don't think of what could happen. They tend to live in the here and now.

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  8. Anonymous December 3, 2020 / 7:12 pm

    I had a whole house to clean up and sort.

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