This morning\’s coroner report has Nina being released by her dad for cremation. He must be devasted – I know. I had to do this when Michael died unexpectedly. It\’s a shame, we can\’t come together as a family.
Yesterday Nina\’s best friend messaged me – She told me there are items that she doesn\’t feel right about throwing away – some belonged to my Mom, like her wedding rings, military pins from my dad, and then things from my sister that were passed on to Nina. Last week I talked with Doug, my sister\’s husband about Nina – on the night she passed. We talked and he said he is ready to get rid of all my sister\’s stuff that he has at his home. It\’s been 5 years. He was saving it for Nina. He asked me what to do with Donna\’s wedding dress. I told him to donate it. I can\’t take everything, nor will I be able to keep everything. I do want to be able to go through it and then decide what I want to keep for the children. Photos and memorabilia that would be special to them as they get older. I honestly don\’t need any more stuff. I\’ve been trying to minimize my own stuff.
I\’m not looking forward to this task. If you\’ve ever lost someone, and you have to go through their things, you know, it can be quite emotional. This time it would be like reliving my mom\’s death, my sister\’s death, and now Nina. I do know many of the items are already boxed so I don\’t believe I have to actually go through the house or anything. They are doing this now. I\’m thinking Nina\’s dad is probably trying to either get the house ready to sell or to rent out asap. He bought the newly built house for them, just last year.
I don\’t know if or when there will be any type of service/memorial. Looks like regardless if there is a service, I will have to meet up with Nina\’s dad to get into the house. I\’d prefer to do all of this and get it over with, before Christmas if I can. I don\’t like having this kind of emotional event hanging over me as unfinished business. I will have a lot to do as I sift through these things – keeping just a few things for myself and the children. I don\’t even feel right selling anything – my sons probably don\’t want anything so most of it will be donated. But it needs to be gone through by me.
Sometimes I wonder, why me? Why am I the one who has always had to pick up the pieces? (literally) I must be a lot stronger than my stomach tells me I am. I just will have to do what I have to do, and then I can emotionally heal from all of their deaths – My mom, my sister, and Nina.
From My House – For the homemaking side of me