The Dysfunctional Aftermath

Nina as a child
Her children were taken by Child Protective Services on the 19th. They went back to the same Foster Family, that had them earlier in the year and will be there until they can figure this all out.  I know, my niece approved of them so that is good. I contacted the CPS Ombudsman today and told them, that I want to be involved in the process if at all possible. While we are unable to raise children, I still want to keep up a relationship with them, as they grow older. Only I can share those precious memories of their Mom when she was a baby and a young person. The odds for that are almost impossible from what I am hearing. I will eventually lose touch with those little ones and that is killing me. 
Nina\’s father is Shia and her baby daddy is Sunni from Somalia. His family came down from Seattle but CPS wouldn\’t let them leave the state with the children. There are basically 3 cultures/ involved plus there is the fact that the father of those children is a criminal. He is a big-time drug dealer and that is one major reason, why I was unable to go down there and spend time. The few times, we were there, the police were always knocking at their door, for something. Or, his \”business partners\” would be dropping by. I wanted to have a special relationship with her, but it was almost impossible. I wasn\’t allowed to send them Christmas gifts or cards – they didn\’t observe Christmas or any other American holidays. 
Any and all information, as to what exactly happened is not forthcoming. I am a nobody. Nina\’s cousin, calls me his \”Aunt\” because he loved my sister and my sister helped raise him when he came here from Iran. He is my only connection and even he is limited because he and his uncle have not talked in years. Family dysfunction happens in all cultures. 
I doubt I will be attending any funeral or memorial service. Nina\’s father is mad at my side of the family, blaming my mom and my sister for her death. (My mom died in 2008 and my sister died in 2015) He blames them for the drug addiction and says it comes from my side of the family. I don\’t need that kind of drama – It is a male-dominated culture, that I will be dealing with. I have my own issues with my mom and my sister – but I will be dammed if I would allow them to bash them in front of me. 
I don\’t know if she died by suicide or an accidental overdose. I doubt if I will ever know and really, it doesn\’t really matter. She is gone. My beautiful little Nina is gone. Now I have to think of her little ones. 

From My House – For the homemaking side of me

9 thoughts on “The Dysfunctional Aftermath

  1. Anonymous November 23, 2020 / 10:40 pm

    So sorry for the tragedy you are dealing with. Family dynamics can be complicated and hurtful. I hope that eventually lines of communication will open between you and the children. Try to stay positive and hopeful. 💖

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  2. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 12:04 am

    Such a sad situation, for the kids, and for you. Praying for you.

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  3. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 12:07 am

    I do hope and pray that you will be able to have some connection with the little ones. I will keep praying.God bless.

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  4. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 1:47 am

    Oh! Those poor children. My heart is breaking reading this…not only for the children but also for you. God bless you~ xo Diana

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  5. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 4:15 am

    That's so sad. 🤕

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  6. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 4:46 am

    Such a sad situation. I feel for the children. betty

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  7. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 6:16 am

    This story is heartbreaking. And all too common. Please keep trying, your influence is invaluable to those children, it will be difficult but life-saving in the long term. I hope and pray things work out for the kids and for you and your family. I know this isn’t much help, but I pray you find good people to guide you. Blessings to all.

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  8. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 4:58 pm

    Debbie this is so devastating. You are so right about family dysfunction. The woman who does my nails is from Vietnam. She recently opened up about the arguing in her family and how she liked going to school as a child to get away from it. If your niece had a drug addiction, it had to be an overdose. I pray for you to get through this. I pray for her children. It is a shame they will not let you maintain a relationship with them. The more people children have in their life, the better they turn out. In my experience, people who hand out guilt the easiest are the most irresponsible. I hope the people who eventually adopt the children find out about you.

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  9. Anonymous November 24, 2020 / 10:27 pm

    So much stress and despair and sadne ss , I hope things improve

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