Dementia

My sister-in-law called this morning – the hospital is releasing my brother. He has dementia and is on some medication that hopefully will make things better. I don\’t know all the details – my SIL was crying. I just listened. The rest of the family came in and took out all his guns and sharp knives. He apparently doesn\’t remember his violent episode. I\’m wrestling whether or not we should go back. With the issue with my lungs and covid19, I don\’t know. My husband said we could drive back. We have an older Dodge Sport Caravan – it runs great and the husband is positive we could get there and back. YOu know how I hate to leave my babies…(cat and dog) We\’ll wait and see how he settles in. We don\’t need our visit to make things worse for them all. 
I\’m so bummed. He is only 70. 
I didn\’t grow up with my brother. My dad was 16 and his mom was 15 and he grew up in Eastern Tennessee. I don\’t know the whole story only that, this was hidden from my sister and me until we were teenagers. I thought it was cool to have a brother. But that was it. Then when my mom died, I found all this communication from John\’s wife and family. So I had just got on Facebook – it was 2009 and I looked them up and found them and made contact! They were so happy to hear from me. I don\’t like to let things go, so I planned my trip to meet him and the rest of his huge family. It was awesome and he really is a lot like my dad. (only shorter) I just fell in love with him and his wife. 
Since then, we keep up with each other – we just went back in 2018, and this time my husband came with me. She said something – that is true and it bothered me. \”I only wish you could have known him longer  Well me, too!  I get angry at my Mom mostly. She kept my Dad from him as well. But have found out since,  that my dad did communicate with them on his own and even got away to visit them back when they were living in Tennessee and my mom knew nothing about it. They have photos to prove it. Good for you, Dad! 
You just can\’t go back and try to figure these dysfunctional things out. I do know my Mom was just jealous and felt threatened – telling my dad, they were out for my dad\’s money, or they wanted to be in the will. Oh come on, it\’s not like my folks were rich or anything. And nothing could have been further from the truth. My brother and his family are the most genuine people I have ever met. Loving and have totally brought me into their family. 

From My House – For the homemaking side of me

12 thoughts on “Dementia

  1. Anonymous November 2, 2020 / 1:41 am

    Our parents were concerned about appearances. Remember that permanent record warning. It is a shame you and your brother missed out on so many years knowing one another. I hope your brother gets on a good med that helps clear some of the dementia. If your sister in law gets him on a schedule where he has less confusion, a lot of that anger from frustration will lift. That sort of news is bad to process. I would wait on traveling. People may nut up over the election results no matter who wins. Covid is raging here. I have a work friend whose son went to a birthday party with 9 other teenagers. One of the kids who he did not spend any time with that evening was diagnosed with Covid. Except for her son, everyone in the family (dad, mon, older son) came down with Covid and it was like having the Crud and the Flu combined for them. Younger son was bored and never had symptoms.

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  2. Anonymous November 2, 2020 / 2:58 am

    I hope that you can get back to visit with him at some point. God bless.

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  3. Anonymous November 2, 2020 / 4:13 pm

    I'm so sorry about your brother. I have a sister in law with dementia and she is only 67. It's heartbreaking!

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  4. Anonymous November 2, 2020 / 8:55 pm

    Dementia is horrible, my mum's memory is going I speak to her every day and she will tell me the same thing 2 or 3 times in half an dow she has gotten worse since dad died

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  5. Anonymous November 3, 2020 / 5:12 am

    Dementia is so hard on the person, and those who love them. Our dad had dementia; it's heartbreaking. Prayers for your brother, and you as well.xoxo

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  6. Anonymous November 7, 2020 / 9:19 pm

    Yeah it is raging here – among the teens as well. I hate this virus and what it has done to people, their lives, the children, business – So sad to see what is happening.

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  7. Anonymous November 7, 2020 / 9:19 pm

    We'll have to play it by ear – all due to Covid19.

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  8. Anonymous November 7, 2020 / 9:19 pm

    Wow, that is young. Sorry to hear that.

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  9. Anonymous November 7, 2020 / 9:20 pm

    Pops has it too, but he's just forgetful. Repeats himself. It's hard to have video chats with him.

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  10. Anonymous November 7, 2020 / 9:22 pm

    Thank you for the prayers. Dementia is something I have always feared. I saw it a little with my mom's mom and now with my 94 yr old Father-in-law. He's showing signs. A year ago he was more sharp than he is now.

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  11. Anonymous November 15, 2020 / 2:28 pm

    My mil has dementia and it is a ongoing battle…they (her husband) still live in their home. The nurse has stopped visiting due to a Covid outbreak, they have not bathed, eat applesauce, not eating regular meals etc…its just an ongoing issue…we are so tired and weary…I better leave it at that.

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