If you can\'t say anything nice, don\'t say anything at all

I\’m a bit ticked off – and need to just vent. My niece sent me a photo of herself and her 2-year-old. They are both wearing hijabs. The photo was taken on Ramadan this past April.  My sister married a man from Iran. They are Persians. BIG difference. My niece is with a man who is from Somalia. He is a Muslim but he only observes their holy days. It\’s not what I would have preferred for my niece but honestly, it is not my business. Her whole life was set up on this pathway.  My sister embraced Persian Culture and so it was totally natural for my niece to embrace it. I am very close to my sister\’s step-nephew. My sister practically raised him. He\’s a wonderful man and an extremely successful businessman in Los Angeles with a beautiful family. There is a huge Persian population in and around LA. They are good people. 

My beautiful Niece

So, I – not really thinking about the \”controversy\” of them wearing a hijab, I texted the photo to 2 of my friends in the bay area – we go back for 30+ years. I\’m thinking my great-niece is adorable and nothing else. I\’m a proud Great Aunt – just showing pictures. Usually, when I text something I get an immediate reply and so far NOTHING from both of them. One is a real lefty Liberal feminist and the other is the complete opposite. 

My feelings are hurt and then, I get mad. I can\’t tell you how many photos they have texted me. Just RUDE. I\’m not a grandma yet -Is this because of the Hijab? Maybe they think they are ugly? Wow. 

My beautiful Great-Niece 

So that saying is true.  We all have family members we love and while they could be of a different religion or race (do people even care about race any more these days) or live a different lifestyle – they are still blood family and we love them. I guess this is about ignorance. I\’m wondering should I say something? Probably not, because I will get mad. 

It\’s getting to the point where I am feeling I need new friends. 

PS. Maybe my Nieces eyebrows? When she dresses all up she does this – she even goes to a place that enhances her eyebrows when wearing a hijab. Plus she is a beautician and esthetician. She\’s really into makeup and all of that. 

9 thoughts on “If you can\'t say anything nice, don\'t say anything at all

  1. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 12:45 am

    Those eyebrows are the fashion now. All the young gals have them. Your niece is very pretty. But the grand niece is so so cute. What a little cutie.I would hope your friends would not be responding because they are wearing a hijab. People are getting xenophobic. I have never met a Muslim who was not a great person. Of course, I have not met many. There are good and bad people in every group. The Muslim doctors are usually very good. I have Muslim swim wear that I plan to wear in my pool. I just don't want skin cancer. My mom has a lot removed every visit to the dermatologist.

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  2. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 4:13 am

    Your niece and great niece are beautiful! Its your friends' loss if they are choosing not to respond to you. betty

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  3. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 6:14 pm

    Aww thank you. I too, think they are beautiful. I am afraid that they might be xenophobic – I hope I am wrong. I found my brother-in-law to be a generous, caring man. Just like my nephew-in-law – he's a sweetie and calls me his Auntie. We have a lot of Sikhs in our area – people often think they are muslims because they wear turbans. I enjoy everything diversity brings to our community. The food is good, too! YUM!

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  4. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 6:14 pm

    Yeah, I need to let it go. It just hurt me.

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  5. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 6:53 pm

    Hi Debby. Thank you for your visit to me. I don't know if you know it or not but I always leave my acknowledgment of your comments under each post. When I do that I come over to whomever commented to have a visit with them. So here I am with you. First let me say, your niece is very beautiful no matter what she wears on her head as well as the little darling one. Let's face it. Some people are just plain ignorant and stupid. They always complain how things aren't right with the world and have no clue, that they, and others like them, are the reason. Truthfully, I was never combative and always kept my opinions to myself, but in light of all that is going on now I find it very hard to hold my tongue. I have said some things on my blog that I feel need to be said and I have gotten some flack from ones that don't feel the same. That is OK, I will answer them back one time, then if they continue I just don't answer anymore. I do not delete their comments, as I feel that others should be able to see the hypocrisy and maybe have a small change of heart. Of course, there are ones who think I am the hypocrite, but common sense tells me I am not. Even though I will read what they say, it just amazes me how ignorant some people are. Like you say, your family members are beautiful and that is just how you look at them. Don't ever apologize or think differently. It doesn't matter who marries who, it matters that they are treated well and loved. .Stay well, wear a mask and hope that someday it will all be better..xxoJudy

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  6. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 7:57 pm

    Thanks Judy. I enjoy your blog and beautiful photos and the fact that you are here in California. God Bless.

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  7. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 10:31 pm

    Even my somewhat racist husban was disgusted when I read him this and showed him the photos, as he said your great-neice is pretty and people need to wake up and stop saying stupid things. He is improving and becoming more toletant . I agree your neice and great-neice are beautiful and if they are happy and not being forced to be or act in any way.

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  8. Anonymous October 8, 2020 / 8:58 pm

    It is their choice.

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  9. Anonymous October 10, 2020 / 5:07 pm

    I think they are beautiful! Especially your little great-niece!

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