Many don\’t realize what it is like to live in the urban and metro parts of California. Southern California, Silicon Valley, San Francisco…It\’s all about youth and beauty and fitness and it affects the seniors in those areas. It\’s perfectionism. I have friends who I left down in the bay area who still wear styles meant for the younger generations – who actually think they can pull it off and they look utterly ridiculous. I remember when I lived in Silicon Valley (Redwood City) and it was just an unspoken rule, you NEVER go out into public without looking your best. You run into people and they talk behind your back; make judgment calls. Very catty. I hated it. That was one thing I noticed when we moved up here – people are laid back and comfortable with who they are and how they look. Now I don\’t run to Walmart in my PJ\’s or anything. I still try to look presentable when I go out, but I don\’t feel I have to change my outfit and put makeup on either. I can\’t live like that. Been there/done that! You do feel the pressure, of living in an area that places so much importance on looks. And it\’s hard not to compare yourself.
I have one friend who is so conscious of her looks, that when we go out, she has to sit with her \”best\” side toward the outside. Her mom is 90 years old and still dyes her hair. My ex MIL did the same thing. Her face never matched up with her blonde hair.
My mom was this way – after a certain age she would not wear shorts – even if it was 100+ My mom, wouldn\’t wear shorts if she didn\’t have a tan. Hmmm, so how do you get a tan, if you are covering up your legs? My sister was this way as well. When I visit with my niece, I always feel, \”less than\” because I refuse to dress like her mom or put piles of face makeup on, etc. Yeah, you see can my wrinkles and my sags. It\’s getting to the point where I can\’t stand to be around these \”beautiful people.\” When I visit, you can tell right off the bat, they are sizing you up…I\’m not dumb. I can see it. And because I know they talk behind the backs of others to me, they will talk about me when I leave.
It\’s a catty world if you live in these areas. You have to wear the right thing – I got caught up in all of that as a teen and young adult working in the city. I even remember when I was a stay at home Mom, raising my boys, the \”other more affluent moms\” were catty and you just were not your friend. Put it this way, living in my area, was like living 24/7 in High School.
I am so happy I am out of that fishbowl of constant comparison and basically judging your character on your looks, or what brand purse you use. One of my old friends asked me about my grey-white hair. \”Why don\’t you color it?\” She just doesn\’t get it.
Now we have these photo filters on our phones. Older gals on social media, sharing these touched up photos as if that is what they REALLY look like. Who are they trying to fool? I don\’t share my real photo anymore on social media because it is public on Facebook and therefore when you upload a new profile photo everyone comments. I don\’t want nor do I need a comment. I\’m kinda shy that way. If they compliment you – fine. If they don\’t leave a comment or you get very few likes, it does something to your self-esteem. Now I just use my like avatar and call it a day.
My goal is to grow old gracefully and beautifully in my own unique way. I match my husband. He is partially bald and has a white short beard. I think he looks handsome. I remember at my son\’s wedding, we both danced a lot. We were out there kicking it up and having a blast. Many of the young friends of my sons told us that everyone thought we were fun and an \”adorable couple.\”
We are an ADORABLE couple.