Can we talk? Part 2

Many don\’t realize what it is like to live in the urban and metro parts of California. Southern California, Silicon Valley, San Francisco…It\’s all about youth and beauty and fitness and it affects the seniors in those areas.  It\’s perfectionism. I have friends who I left down in the bay area who still wear styles meant for the younger generations – who actually think they can pull it off and they look utterly ridiculous. I remember when I lived in Silicon Valley (Redwood City) and it was just an unspoken rule, you NEVER go out into public without looking your best. You run into people and they talk behind your back; make judgment calls. Very catty. I hated it. That was one thing I noticed when we moved up here – people are laid back and comfortable with who they are and how they look. Now I don\’t run to Walmart in my PJ\’s or anything. I still try to look presentable when I go out, but I don\’t feel I have to change my outfit and put makeup on either. I can\’t live like that. Been there/done that! You do feel the pressure, of living in an area that places so much importance on looks. And it\’s hard not to compare yourself.

I have one friend who is so conscious of her looks, that when we go out, she has to sit with her \”best\” side toward the outside. Her mom is 90 years old and still dyes her hair. My ex MIL did the same thing. Her face never matched up with her blonde hair.

My mom was this way – after a certain age she would not wear shorts – even if it was 100+   My mom, wouldn\’t wear shorts if she didn\’t have a tan. Hmmm, so how do you get a tan, if you are covering up your legs? My sister was this way as well. When I visit with my niece, I always feel, \”less than\” because I refuse to dress like her mom or put piles of face makeup on, etc. Yeah, you see can my wrinkles and my sags. It\’s getting to the point where I can\’t stand to be around these \”beautiful people.\” When I visit, you can tell right off the bat, they are sizing you up…I\’m not dumb. I can see it. And because I know they talk behind the backs of others to me, they will talk about me when I leave.

It\’s a catty world if you live in these areas. You have to wear the right thing – I got caught up in all of that as a teen and young adult working in the city. I even remember when I was a stay at home Mom, raising my boys, the \”other more affluent moms\” were catty and you just were not your friend. Put it this way, living in my area, was like living 24/7 in High School.

I am so happy I am out of that fishbowl of constant comparison and basically judging your character on your looks, or what brand purse you use. One of my old friends asked me about my grey-white hair. \”Why don\’t you color it?\” She just doesn\’t get it.

Now we have these photo filters on our phones. Older gals on social media, sharing these touched up photos as if that is what they REALLY look like. Who are they trying to fool? I don\’t share my real photo anymore on social media because it is public on Facebook and therefore when you upload a new profile photo everyone comments. I don\’t want nor do I need a comment. I\’m kinda shy that way. If they compliment you – fine. If they don\’t leave a comment or you get very few likes, it does something to your self-esteem. Now I just use my like avatar and call it a day.

My goal is to grow old gracefully and beautifully in my own unique way. I match my husband. He is partially bald and has a white short beard. I think he looks handsome. I remember at my son\’s wedding, we both danced a lot. We were out there kicking it up and having a blast. Many of the young friends of my sons told us that everyone thought we were fun and an \”adorable couple.\”

We are an ADORABLE couple.

11 thoughts on “Can we talk? Part 2

  1. Anonymous October 4, 2020 / 10:48 pm

    How cute you are known as the adorable couple!! We lived in Laguna Niguel (close to Laguna Beach) from 2006 to 2008. That's a hard place not to look pretty and if you are a few pounds overweight forget it. Plus there was lots of money there (we didn't have it). I actually prayed for God to show me the poor people and of course He answered my prayer and I saw a lot of poor people and a lot of sad stories. I think working from home for so many years I just lost the desire to dress up. And you know, I rather work on my heart than my physical looks because we all know what God looks at 🙂 betty


  2. Anonymous October 5, 2020 / 12:33 am

    At 74 I am still incredible handsome even without getting all dressed up…My wife disagrees. Tell the beautiful people that having no flaws is in itself a major flaw.


  3. Anonymous October 5, 2020 / 7:25 pm

    I too dislike woman who are in their 60's who dress like teenagers. I want to say grow up. I mean you don't need to look dowdy but really? No one wants to see that…… I'm right there with you sister.


  4. Anonymous October 5, 2020 / 9:24 pm

    I like to look good when I go out but I don't leave the house very much now days , I stopped dying my hair 10yrs ago and I am happy withnhow I look


  5. Anonymous October 5, 2020 / 10:59 pm

    I am aiming for growing old gracefully as well. I have a sister-in-law who wears clothing much to young for her and still piles on the makeup. Not me, not anymore. I own my wrinkles, bit of a tummy, and any grey hair that I have.God bless.


  6. Anonymous October 6, 2020 / 10:58 pm

    Amen! Years ago, I dated a man who took me to a Luau in Laguna Beach and it was filled with uppity type people. I never felt so uncomfortable in my life. We never saw each other again after that night.


  7. Anonymous October 6, 2020 / 10:58 pm

    You are very right, Sir.


  8. Anonymous October 6, 2020 / 10:59 pm

    Someone has to say it.


  9. Anonymous October 6, 2020 / 11:00 pm

    My hair is all grey/white and I love it. I figure there are some who pay a fortunate to get my color of hair, in a bottle.


  10. Anonymous October 6, 2020 / 11:01 pm

    Same here – I've always thought older women had a beauty about them. I HOPE to grow old gracefully. It's a shock in those early years though…


  11. Anonymous October 7, 2020 / 12:34 pm

    I think it's whatever makes you feel good is the important thing. It's good that you are thought of as an adorable couple! You were having fun which is what counts!


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